say it to my face (an open rant)

today i received words from an auntie of mine who said these (and more) about me:

1)”kahilas niya, murag si kinsa, naminyo lang ug tiguwang nag hinilas hilas na”..

2) “murag si kinsa, unsa ra raba’y trabaho niya didto sa gawas, trabahante ra raba siya, empleyado lang”

(i’ll try my best to translate this in english ,even if in english, it doesnt hold as much weight and insult as it is in visayan)

translation:

1)”who does she think she is, just because she married an old man, she think’s she’s someone!”.

2) “she’s just a lowly employee, a worker, she’s a nobody but whenever she comes home, she acts like she’s not!”.

 

answers:

- what have i done that you say that i acted like im somebody? just because i have lavish parties and go on trips???  is that license for you to accuse me of acting “being somebody?”. why?? kamo ra ba ang naay katungod mag party ug mag hikay ug mu-travel?  just because im a lowly employee of a hospital, i dont have the right to do so? since when was partying exclusive to rich people? did i ask you for a single centavo for the parties at all? nah.

- adrian’s retort about the “old man” comment? he laughed, because he is an old man, (but only in age)! …i was laughing because by what that auntie is doing, it goes to show what desperation can do to you. snarl and growl like a beast!

-when did i ever say i did anything else apart from what i was doing now? kanus-a ko niuli ug cebu na na ingon ko nga artista ko ngari sa UK? everyone knows im a hospital employee, and there is nothing to be ashamed of that. if i was embarrassed by it, i wouldnt be blogging about it eons since.  dili ko parehas ninyo na delusional, saying you got businesses, when you dont really have nothing to prove for it. (and dont you dare to ask me to prove this sentence because i will!).

 

–you see this auntie of mine, used to think/ or still thinks lowly of hospital employees, or any employees for that matter…its so sad, because without hospital employees, there would be no one who’d take care of her with batasan dili makaon ug iro!

 

* * *

this auntie of mine got so angry about a blog i wrote a few weeks ago…if anyone forgot the disclaimer: i even said, “bato bato sa langit, ang matamaan huwag magalit”,

read the blog here by clicking this link: Can You Sleep At Night?

the weird thing was; she called the blog “greed”. i guess the word stood in front of her like how she would infront of a mirror.

and yes the reason that blog was written was because of the hurt from what they did to us just for a piece of land that my father left for us. but people are intelligent enough to understand that it wasnt as fictional as i wrote it to be.

karma bites in the bum, big time!

 

* * *

 

so, you want this war as personal? then i’ll give it my best shot. i’ll make it as beautifully “personal” as i can.

even more better, once i get home, because then YOU CAN SAY IT IN MY FACE.

 

* * *

 

and to the other AUNTIE (the younger sis, who pretends to be ”diosnon”/ godlike) who backbites everyone in the family? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, you frequent my blog anyways.

-auntie dear, does everyone know what you are trying to do? make one person get angry at the other so there’s some sort of war between us relatives? do you want me to prove this? let me know, i have proofs what you told me about the other auntie’s and uncle’s children when you backbited about them to me and to other cousins (lets start from the your best buddy auntie N, what you have said about her children and the wife of her eldest son). you like it when people are angry at one another, it seems like.

why do you sow hate? you are supposed to be the older generation, to teach us cousins to love one another, ikaw na hinuon mag start ug bickerings? i will not forget what you have said about my mama, all those words are embedded in my mind and heart…YOU ARE SUCH A HIPPOCRITE! does your pastor know how you are after you have finished singing your praises to your God?

you are also the one who is starting rift between me and my halfsisters when there is nothing to bicker about…WHY DO YOU LIKE INTRIGUES SO MUCH?? DO YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS KNOW THAT YOU BACKBITE THEIR CHILDREN TOO? you make my skin crawl!

YOU are the root of all these bickerings…say these things in my face, and you will know what i really think.

 

you wanted this fight from the very beginning. i kept my mouth shut, because its between you and my mom, these issues about the “small” land Papa got from your parents, which he wanted to leave to me and my siblings (yes, including my halfsisters!).

but you have become very personal AND WORST OF ALL: you have included “ANA” in your personal vendetta.

auntie, i dont go to church all the time,but i will never do to your children what you have done to us.

the moment, ANYONE who dare insult or touch my sister/my mother, my brothers:  DEAL WITH ME.

 

* * *

i am not apologizing what i write in my blog, IT IS MY BLOG after all.

 

* * *

this is to show we are not pushovers. just because we allowed you to shout at as, and insult my mother, this does not mean we will allow you to do that forever.

 

chances are

i have been given my first placement (internship) to cap my first year in university. since i work in a physical dysfuntion setting, and my background of expertise is amputation and orthopaedics, and minor background with medicine for the elderly, and physical health, i have been given a task too daunting to imagine, too greater a challenge to refuse.

come june,i will be assigned to a mental health centre, where people who have mental health problems come in for appointments and get their prescriptions and integrate in managed workshops and groupworks with the medical team (psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health nurse,mental health OT’s).

as i was given the brief of the place, the outline of the type of programme was being discussed and the type of work i will be doing, i heaved a sigh of relief. the amazing workshops, the groupwork and the excellent team are such motivators. i already feel at home.

my only concern is: will they ever let me out?

probable answer: no. they probably section me as patient number 27, harhar.

 

* * *

and because its a mental health centre: people are asked not to wear uniform to avoid insulting and labeling patients.

concern number 2: how would they know which one’s the patient?

probable solutions: wear my badge at all times/and stop talking to myself,haha.

 

* * *

 

my classmates are simultaneously doing their own placements at other institutions and at other field of work where some of them are really nervous about.

one, who is being assigned to an amputation rehab setting, is asking me a hundred and one questions what to expect, and what to do, down to the nitty gritty bits of equipment provision and other technical aspects. i refrained on giving her the blow-by-blow account. i will not rob her off the beauty at seeing things from an eye of a first-timer, and experiencing things firsthand, without prior bias nor judgement.

i am going in to this placement myself with the basic knowledge of what to do, what not to do, ethical procedures, manual handling and basic theoretical knowledge, but the gory parts and colourful excerpts, i leave that to the night of presentation itself, when the curtains open and flash the neon sign to say : now showing.

at the end of the day, i hate spoilt endings.

grateful weekender

 

there are days when you think you’ve had it bad in the morning, you wouldnt think it would go any worse than that. well, it did. and today was an example of that.

* * *

i went to a patient’s house today to do some occular inspection on the stairs whether we could do some adaptations or install rails/bannister for the safe access. this house was a Grade II listed building (which means quite an expensive/grand house which has a significance to the town’s history). the occupants were the epitome of “poshness” in the old school way.

the couple are in their late 50’s-to early 60’s, and as my patient lives with them (the husband is the son) i needed to see the house where she is going to be discharged to.

the wife (who was french) was really nice and polite and she was quite warm, but the husband (british!) was a different story altogether. while the wife was talking to me and the other OT regarding her mother-in-law’s day-to-day activities at home, the husband came down the stairs looking really agitated and started pacing back and forth. we introduced ourselves to him and reiterated our reason for coming and measuring the stairs and voila! he shouted and pointed his fingers at us, like little girls being told off by the head shopkeeper for stealing sweets from his shop.

he berated us for barging in and telling him what was good for his mother and that the grabrails at the stair would impinge on the character of the house, and that it would make it difficult for him and his wife to negotiate the stairs when there is a handle on the side. duh! if only he’d let me finish talking. (what does he want? make his mother fall down the stairs just so his house looks beautiful?).

monique, the scottish OT who was with me, almost cried infront of him, but me being more assertive and never to run away from belligerent old men (haha!), i told him that he was verbally abusive and that as hospital staff, we have zero tolerance for abuse, and that we are discontinuing the visit right there and then.

we left  the beautiful house and ran back to the car which was waiting for us, when he ran after us (i could hear the wife telling him off for being so rude) and half-shouted (angrily!) ”im apologizing!, cant you see what you’re doing to my wife, you’re getting her upset! please come back and talk to her. im apologizing”. still in a shouting angry tone.

first, we didnt do anything to his wife: his wife was in a jolly mood (she was ever so nice) and very accommodating before he started his tirade and shouted abuse to me and my colleague.

second: saying “im apologizing” when youre shouting and pointing your fingers at us, is NOT apologizing at all.

third: wait til he gets a complaint from the hospital for abusing staff.

i just feel sorry for his wife. can you imagine living with a man like that?

it makes me feel grateful i have a husband like i have who is so nicely tempered and never shouts at me. it makes me feel so blessed.

i wouldnt trade my husband for a shouting baffoon for a nice grade 2 listed building. not unless it comes with 10 million pounds, then i would consider ,*haha*…

PS:  grade 2 listed building are buildings/houses which have great significance to the town or the english heritage and history. if you live or planning to buy a grade 2 listed building, you are not allowed to do any restructural works and renovation to the house (inside renovation is allowed but with a long arduous process which needs to be approved by your council) as it is part of the history books (whether your town’s or the country itself).

-in that man’s case, their house was the first pub built in the town of billericay. the building is now used as a family home yet inside, you can still see the original features, and some being reconstructed to keep the place’s character. if we needed to put a grab rail for the mother’s safety, we would be allowed as it won’t alter the structure of the building. unfortunately we werent vetoed by the council. it was the owner who was more concerned on the beauty of his mansion than the safety of his mother.

* * *

the afternoon was relatively laidback, until i had to again, do a visit to a patient’s house. this time, it was a patient who was longterm manic depressive and the husband, who was her carer,was having mental health problems himself.

the house looked like it was cut out from the movie Austin powers. everything was 60’s decor, but also, it seemed as if it wasnt cleaned since the 1960s.

our patient’s mental health problems started when she gave birth to her son in the late 60’s. she suffered from post natal depression and never recovered after that. her mental health started to spiral downwards and it got to a point that both her and the husband are mentally affected.

the house was classic case mental health patient’s abode. unkempt, unhygienic and traces of soot on the ceiling from previous mini-fire were there. the husband was overly anxious with signs of paranoia and had very low capacity to take care of his wife. to top it all, when i checked the kitchen, his wife’s soiled underwear were hung on  a clothesline just when you look up in the ceiling. the cooker was too sticky, and i was scared to even look into the fridge. and the kitchen smelt of leaking gas.

my work was cut out for me when i got back to the hospital, i had to write a report for health and safety risks, rang the gas board to inform them of a possible leaking gas incident (a fire hazard), and had to request for a social worker to assess the patient’s social status and a mental health visitor to visit the place.

documentation,documentation,documentation. no wonder, we had to write massive essays in class! it is preparation for future complex cases like the ones i just had, and even future legal cases,haha=)

* * *

grateful weekender indeed, because apart from having a loving good natured husband who doesnt shout and verbally abuse me, i still have the mental health to function as a productive citizen/wife/friend in my day to day roles.

ahhh, this is the very reason occupational therapy is wonderful. i get to be thankful every single day  of where i am, of who and what i have, and of who i am.

thank you Lord.